Nerdy Weddings: Interview with Chiara Haurand

What sets a nerdy wedding apart from the classic kind with a white dress and fluttering doves? To find out, we sat down with celebrant and voice actress Chiara Haurand. She reveals what couples should consider for a nerdy ceremony, shares stories of forgotten rings, and even takes us inside a Bloodborne-themed wedding.

Along the way, we tackle the truly pressing questions: How can Grumpy Grandpa have fun at a nerdy wedding? Why are umbrellas the unsung heroes of every summer ceremony? And how do epic fails transform into epic memories?

For easier reading, the interview has been slightly edited.

Chiara, you’re a professional voice actress and a wedding celebrant. But it sounds way cooler if I just introduce you like this: You marry nerds.

Yes, my boyfriend once summed it up like this: I get nerds down the aisle – and sometimes into the ground.

Into the ground, because you also do funerals. But for nerds too?

Absolutely. In fact, I’d say that’s where it works best. If someone was a nerd in life, or simply lived outside the norm, families often want a ceremony led by someone who truly understands that. That’s where I come in.

So what really sets a “normal” wedding apart from a nerdy one?

It’s about being open to your passions and hobbies. I’m not saying a “normal” wedding is less meaningful or authentic. Every couple has to find what feels right for them. But I often hear from guests that some weddings felt staged – like the couple thought they had to follow a script for it to be a “real” wedding.

I want the opposite: a wedding is real when the couple can be 100 percent themselves. When their joy and passions spark something in their guests. That’s what I love about nerdy weddings – we get to bring that world to life and invite everyone into it. Because that world is as epic and dramatic as the couple’s own story!

So a “normal” wedding can be authentic too, but your focus is putting the couple even more at the center?

Exactly. For me, the most important thing is that the couple feels at home in their own ceremony. That’s why I love the word epic. I don’t do “perfect” weddings – I do epic weddings. We go all in, we take risks, and we make sure it’s unforgettable. Above all, it should be awesome and fun.

But what if the couple is super nerdy, and then there’s Grumpy Grandpa who just doesn’t get it? How do you bring everyone along?

I always give a short introduction at the start. It’s partly for practical info – like how the entrance and exit will work – but it’s also a chance to set the mood. I let everyone know this will be an unusual ceremony, and that they’re invited to embrace it. Even older guests usually have some connection to fantasy or sci-fi. I frame it like this: “Just go with it, because it’s important to the couple!” In the end, I want guests to walk away thinking: “Wow, these two are amazing. I should reach out to them more. And I’m lucky I got to be part of this.”

I also encourage the couple right from the start. Celebrants are usually booked early, so I already play a big role in shaping the ceremony. I remind them: This is your day – do it your way! And I’ll happily defend them against skeptical relatives. If the couple is excited, I’m right there cheering them on. Doesn’t matter if Mom or Aunt Gerda approves.

What are some of your responsibilities beyond giving the speech?

I handle the whole flow of the ceremony itself. I’m not a wedding planner – I don’t manage the party or decorations – but I coordinate with the team: photographers, musicians, anyone involved. I make sure the timing is right, I guide entrances and exits, and I communicate that to the guests. And I act as a gatekeeper. If someone suddenly wants to give a speech without asking the couple first, I step in: “Let’s see if this belongs here – or maybe it fits better at the reception later.”

And your speech is based on conversations with the couple?

Exactly. We usually meet twice. The first meeting is a vibe check: do we click, and do they already have ideas? That’s also when I explain my concept and philosophy.

So what is your concept and philosophy?

My motto is: let’s make it epic! Big, bold, open – even open to so-called fails. Because there’s no such thing as a flawless wedding. Something will always go a little off-script. But that’s not a disaster; it’s an opportunity. Slip-ups can become the most memorable, heartfelt moments. Another big part of my work is sound design. I compare it to an amusement park: when you’re standing in front of a roller coaster, you’re already immersed in the world before the ride even starts. That’s the atmosphere I want to create.

Sound design? Do you mean background music and effects? I’m picturing a light version of an audio drama.

That’s pretty close! Coming from game audio, I know how powerful sound is. Typically, couples pick three songs: one for the entrance, one for the exit, and one for the symbolic act. And in between? Silence. To me, that’s wasted potential. I create an adaptive sound design for each ceremony. I even use an app to trigger soundscapes at different moments, depending on where we are in the ceremony.

How much does the couple know beforehand? Do they see your speech in advance?

Never. The speech is always a surprise. I want the emotions in the moment to be raw – both for the couple and for the guests. It can be funny, but never in a way that makes them the punchline. It can be moving, but never cheesy. The couple only knows the rough structure of the ceremony. Everything else is a surprise – otherwise it would be like watching a movie when you already know the ending.

What’s the most beautiful moment – or the worst disaster – you’ve experienced?

Luckily, I haven’t had any disasters myself. But a colleague once had the bride’s mother forget the rings in the car. The couple was standing there at the altar, not knowing what to do. So the groom improvised: he used the bride’s hoop earrings as rings. Honestly – what a fantastic story to tell for years to come! That’s exactly what I mean about fails turning into epic memories.

Of course, some disasters can be prevented. A classic one is too much sun. In my contracts, I state that if it’s over 22°C, umbrellas must be provided. Otherwise, the risk is guests fainting, leaving for shade, or just sitting there thinking, “When will this be over?” And that ruins the focus. Things like that come from my celebrant training, which is based on the collective experience of over 1,000 ceremonies.

What kind of nerdy weddings have you done so far?

I once did a Bloodborne wedding. It was incredible.

Not exactly your typical wedding theme!

Definitely not. In the beginning, it wasn’t clear how deep we’d go with the theme. Would there be costumes? References everywhere? In the end, it became more of a gothic-style wedding with Bloodborne being the guiding spirit, inspiring the music, atmosphere, and sound design.

Why do you call yourself The Modern Bard?

Partly because I love D&D, but mostly because it describes my role. Historically, bards were storytellers. They delivered love messages, or they’d report back from battles to the king – like: “Too bad, your Lancelot fell today.” But they told it dramatically, so the king felt like he’d been there himself. That’s what I do: I tell stories with every tool I have.

And you’re not the only one offering nerdy weddings?

No, not at all. There are other celebrants too. I’m part of a network called Hell Yes! Weddings, which connects alternative wedding vendors. If you’re looking for a nerdy cake or music, you’ll find people there too.

And if couples now think, “Yes, that’s what we want!” – where can they find you?

Either on my website www.die-moderne-bardin.de or on Instagram. Just send me a DM or use the contact form, and we’ll get in touch.